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Friday, December 01, 2006

During the past few years I’ve had several experiences that I would like to share during this Christmas season. They have affected my life in a profound, yet wonderful way and I’d like to reflect back on them in hopes that they may be of some value to all of you.
First, there were the events of September 11th, 2001. I traveled to San Antonio for business on September 10th, arriving at SeaWorld the next morning to reports that a plane struck the World Trade Towers. As that surreal morning unfolded, it became obvious that terrorists attacked innocent people in the United States. We didn’t know it yet, but at that instant, our lives changed forever.

Even as this event fades from our memories, the lesson I learned during that day and the days that followed is etched into my mind forever. You see, I was forced to be away from my family at a time when I needed them most, and when they needed me most. A time when, at least for brief moments, our futures were uncertain. It was a time of shifting emotions for me; frustration, helplessness, confusion, anger, loneliness. Being separated from my family, against my will, helped me understand how precious they are to me. I finally managed to get home on Friday, but the time in-between was agony and the lonely nights in the hotel were abysmal.
It’s funny how we all take things for granted until we don’t have them anymore. Something as simple as not hearing the sounds of airplanes flying in the sky. It shocked me how odd the silence outside seemed, completely foreign and eerie. Just as eerie was the feel of an almost vacant airport on the Thursday after the attack.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The large hotel and resort I was staying at was supposed to be sold out on Wednesday night. When it became apparent that I would be stuck in San Antonio, I was prepared to go back and beg for a room. As it turned out, there were four people, including me, staying at the two-hundred fifty room hotel. I remember hearing the wheels of my suitcase clacking across the joints in the marble floor as I headed back to my room.

On Thursday, I went to the airport at 7 am after calling throughout the night, confirming that flights would resume that morning. When I arrived in the terminal, there were somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty people milling around; ten travelers and twenty reporters and cameramen. The ticket counters were vacant. Reporters stuck microphones in all our faces and wanted comments. Everyone declined. Nobody was in a mood to discuss their feelings that morning. Even five years later, I’m not sure I can put those feelings into words. After surrendering my nail clippers, computer network cables, and my razor at the security check point, I waited. And waited. There were no explanations, no information, no nothing. Somewhere around 2 pm it was finally announced that there would be no flights on Thursday. After renting another car, I returned for another lonely night at the hotel.

When I finally boarded the airplane on Friday, September 14th the flight had a different feel than any I’ve ever been on. First there was the feeling that I wasn’t going to make it back home to my family. I’m a veteran flyer and not prone to nervousness, but as I stepped on the jet bridge, I remember feeling sick. I can still taste the bitter bile in my throat. I eyed each person with suspicion. Being vigilant and wary of everybody on the flight was as uncomfortable a feeling as I’ve ever had. I am a trusting person; a Midwesterner. I hated the feeling of mistrust. I hated the monsters that made me feel that way.

Then there was the odd chitchat emanating from every row. Instead of closing ourselves to the rest of the world as we normally do, and being lost in our thoughts, everyone engaged in nervous, idle conversations with the people around them. I am one of those people who doesn’t normally engage in conversations while traveling, but I found my thoughts constantly migrating to my wife Linda, and my children and that I may never see them again. Thoughts that were just too disturbing, and so I too, chatted the whole flight. I remember the gentleman sitting next to me was trying to get home to Washington D.C. He worked for the Department of Defense and had been on assignment at one of the air force bases in San Antonio. I can only assume he was able to make it home safely.

Then, there have been my travels to China--especially last year, spending almost 3 months away from my family. It’s so very strange, that one can be surrounded by thousands, even millions of people and yet feel so alone. The fact that my family means so much to me is reinforced every time I travel to China. I guess it’s the feeling that they are half a world away that amplifies the feeling of separation. Of course, it would take a full day and night of travel to get back to them.

I have made many friends in China and they go to extraordinary lengths to make me feel comfortable and at-home while I’m there. But as wonderful as they are--as much time as they take away from their own families--I remain tremendously home sick most of my time there. It also seems, that without exception, I travel four-thousand miles, arriving in Chicago on-time only to be met with flight delays to St. Louis. When I get to the gate and see the dreaded “Delayed” posted on the monitor and my heart sinks, its one more reminder to me of how much my family means to me.

Even as I'm typing this, it sounds silly and cliqued, but the Chinese really have taught me that there are more important things than money. This is a society that, in general, has very little. Yet, as I watch them and mingle with them, they are happy despite the lack of the things that, we in the United States, have and expect from life. They cherish their family and friends and spend time with them rather than burrowing into their homes watching television or typing on computers.

So, what’s the moral of all these musings? Well, I urge you all to take a minute from your busy holiday schedules to contemplate how blessed your lives are for what you have and to give thanks for the wonderful family and friends we all have. Call it luck, fate, or whatever you want, but we all have been given a great gift to live in this wonderful country with tremendous wealth, both material and spiritual. Merry Christmas to you all and may your holidays be a time to enjoy and appreciate your family and friends.